Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
