break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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