Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
