they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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