Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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