At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
