If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
