youre lurking in front of me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
