I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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