apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
