Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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