half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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