Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
