Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
