and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
