You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
