Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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