Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize