his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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