Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it was like eating out sand paper
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
