ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
