He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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