dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
