i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
