ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't think brook has ever known best
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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