We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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