Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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