Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
