We named our party play list daddy issues
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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