Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
