I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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