At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
