Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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