Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
