it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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