No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Operation Purity has been aborted
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
