heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
