you guys were way drunker than both of me
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
