Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
