When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize