Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
