He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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