Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
