Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
