I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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