I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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