is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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