i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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