they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
