i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
