i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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