so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My vagina is very pro this idea
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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