well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
