is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish life had little blips of pornography
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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