True but thats because hes a fetus.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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