i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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