She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
