I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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