Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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