Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
