I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she peed on how many people?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
