I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This girl is more easily done than said...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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