fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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