if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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