he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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